Coaching Kids: All Team Sports
By Frank Watts
Coaching kid’s sports presents a very unique challenge. We coaches want to win. It is the American way. Losing is no fun, either for coach, parents or the kids. Many of us revere Green Bay Packer coach and multiple Super Bowl winner Vince Lombardi, who said, “Winning isn’t everything – it’s the only thing!” I agree, as long as we are talking about pro sports. But this ain’t about pro sports, it’s about kids sports. True, but we still want to win and know that even if we lose we still want to have fun. Let the parents and kids know you like to win. You will not apologize for a win. You will be proud to win. But that this will not be a season of winning at all costs.
At young ages, the primary difference in the “win at all cost” coach and other coaches is in the treatment of the kids on the bottom of the totem pole. The win at all cost coach can be spotted because they find a way to drive off the bottom performers. Playing time is also critical to parents and kids. Respecting playing time rules and exceeding them whenever practical will make the season more fun for parents, kids and you.
As a coach, how do you stress winning but not at the cost of having fun? Or, when you lose, how can you still make it fun for all. Let me try to develop some “rules” for fun with a winning attitude:
Get the parents involved. At least one parent from each family should be asked to help. The jobs are there – a couple of assistants, a bench coach, an equipment manager, score/rule keeper, a telephone committee, treat coordinator, etc. Make the team their team, not your team.
- Make practices intense, cool it at game time. Encourage the kids on the field with positive shouts. Teach the kids on the bench as is practical. Try to get some humor in both practices and games. Making fun of yourself is always safe and effective.
- Catch every kid doing something right and praise him or her. Earned praise is effective for all – the kids, parents and you. This doesn’t mean that you won’t make demands on them. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have rules. The first rule should be that when it is your turn to talk, it is their turn to listen.
- Never attack the officials. A quick look, gesture, or work of disagreement is enough. Don’t sour the situation by overdoing it. Take official excesses to the league office.
- If you win, praise the other team’s effort. If you loose, praise the other team even more. That you lost to a very good team makes loosing easier.
Most coaches want to win – but put it in perspective. Bill Koch, a US Cross Country champion and Olympic medal winner said “Winning isn’t everything in sports, striving for excellence is!”
It was Grantland Rice who so wisely wrote:
For when the one Great Scorer comes,
To write against your name,
He marks – not that you won or lost,
But how you played the game.
How you play the game will determine if you can win without loosing.